Category: humor
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Diabetic Jokes
Diabetes gets old. Diabetic jokes do not. I still laugh when my wife says, “I’m low,” after having a needle in her all day. Or, after having a bout of sugar-related uncontrollable emotion, yelling, “I’m so high right now!” People have asked her in restaurants if she’s playing video games and I almost lose my…
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The Presider of the United States
Whatever else the job of President of the United States might entail, it at very least entails presiding. The Presider of the United States must sit before the most boring meetings in the country. And if you want to know what that feels like, just sit in on the minutes reading from any Rotary or…
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Name Your Knot
I remember being at Camp Joy in Boy Scouts and going to knot-tying class that insisted you name your knot — was there with a dad named Jim — my buddy Andy’s dad. And we all sat around and tied our knots and Jim was working his way with a knot in the back of the…
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Outdoor Types
In Carthage, Missouri, every once and awhile you’ll catch outdoor types bringing mattresses in the beds of their trucks to the drive in theater. They get frisky, but mostly just make out. If they do anything else, it’s not like the squeaking of truck suspension interrupts you while watching Pixar films with your kids. They…
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Changing the Duvets
I’ve accepted that I cannot control the gloomy chaos in my sons’ lives now that their father and I have decided to divorce. This is a huge step for me. Still, my boys deserve to know comfort—specifically the mind-altering experience of lying under a perfectly made bed. But first, I must get rid of…
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Creative Writing Jobs wiki (a.k.a. — wiki academic job )
Creative writing jobs wiki page for Academic Positions in Creative Writing that begin in 2021. See also: English Literature Positions 2020-2021 See also: Starbucks Job Board See also: How to Start Your Own Tutoring Business from a Single Craigslist Ad See also: Podcast: How to Start Your Own Editing Business from a Single Craigslist Ad,…
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The Pop Machine
1 Our school got new washrooms with automatic hand-dryers over the summer break. Us boys liked to aim them down our shirts and pants, feeling the warm air as our clothes bubbled and ballooned. It made for good times, so we told the girls. They claimed to have new hand-dryers, too. “How many…
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The Miracles of San Batista
One could argue that as a native Batistan my opinion of the events I am about to recount must necessarily be tainted by local prejudice and distorted by personal involvement. And, in a way, it would be true. But of one thing you can be sure of. I will tell you what happened as best…
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Waiting for the Woe
Sitting in this sparse gray room with nothing to look at besides posters of the digestive tract, no doubt provided by drug companies as perks for doctor’s offices, I await a verdict that will determine my future. I’ve done nothing to prepare for good news. Why should I? I’m not one these people who will…
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Angel of the Battlefield
I’m decidedly old-fashioned, wearing an apron and a smile as I cross the road to greet the new neighbors. Between oven mitts, I hold a freshly-baked pie, the pan still hot. My hair is done up high and tied with a ribbon. It’s all going so well, my fifties fantasy, until, from the bowels of…
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Reclaiming the Earth
A Preliminary Report on Research, Documentation, and Deconstruction of Tectonic Patriarchy and Gender Bias SK Shultz, H Brown, KJ Kelly, and OP Whiddon Abstract The well-established study of plate tectonics provides geologists with the explanations for many geological occurrences which previously had suffered from misunderstanding, misinterpretation or misrepresentation, including the existence of hydrothermal vents and…
