049: Por Que?

because my highschool taught Español Vaminos! not Latin Via Ovid
because of the blood in the water
because no one remembers the Alamo, nor cares, nor, perhaps, ever cared
because Texas wants to secede — we should let them and
because we should take Puerto Rico in their place
because of the Three Amigos
because Will Ferrel spent a month learning Spanish for a film and
because he spoke it well
because in 1492, it wasn’t Florida Columbus sailed to…
because cilantro and cumin’re the most-used, non-salt’n’pepper spice
because avocado’s the biggest fruity veg

because drug shows feature meth, not heroin now and
because they’re about the fluidity of borders
because McCarthy’s best served bilingual
because they do do more work harder for less
Be cause? because. Be cause? Because, because!

because of the Poped Argentinian

and

because salsa replaced ketchup as the number-one condiment in America.

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For newcomers — a note on 50 @ 25:

Once upon a time, I read that the perfect age for writing quality poetry is twenty-three.  Apparently most of T.S. Elliot’s stuff came out then, the rest of his work being supposedly non-poetic. This resulted in 46 poems written at 23

These poems came out exponentially faster and faster before my 24th birthday on April 30th – and I had to write in genres spanning from epic ballads to limericks to get 46 in on time. I guess that means, for better or worse, that’s the best poetry I’ll ever write. Sad day.

Who was I kidding?

Milton was blind and oldoooooold—when he publishedParadise Regained. Emily Dickenson was dead when her stuff came out. My favorite stuff from T.S. Elliot came out after his conversion. So yeah, old age is good for poetry too. Look at Burns and Berry.

(Side note: the name “Berry Burns” sounds like a shady car salesman).

Will I keep up this twice-my-age regimen every few years? Who knows, but this year, here’s to 50 poems at 25 to be written exponentially faster until I turn 26 on April Thirtyish. I do it this the second time around as a way to say: “Here’s to living life well before it’s too late.”


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  1. alicethroughthemacrolens

    From one pedant to another … did you really mean “Texas wants to succeed” ?

    1. lanceschaubert

      atta girl. Yes, I did. DYAC moment before I turned it off of my MAC. Thanks and corrected!



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