You know what big cities don’t have? Good camp songs. I mean, you need like a camp fire and an open night sky full of stars and grass and room enough for a circle. Closest place would be Coney Island in NYC and that’s just… well YOU try making a good bonfire at Coney. Camp…

I never understood why professional painters will just add another layer of pigment on top of their mistakes until I realized how easy it was to tie a double windsor.

Diabetes gets old. Diabetic jokes do not. I still laugh when my wife says, “I’m low,” after having a needle in her all day. Or, after having a bout of sugar-related uncontrollable emotion, yelling, “I’m so high right now!” People have asked her in restaurants if she’s playing video games and I almost lose my…

It’s amazing to me that we used to make these fans with metal blades with like a single strand of barbed wire surrounding it, as if that would protect the fingers of a small child. It’s almost as if someone got stoned up at the GE design lab and said, “You know, when I put…

In Carthage, Missouri, every once and awhile you’ll catch people bringing mattresses in the beds of their trucks to the drive in theater. They get frisky, but mostly just make out. If they do anything else, it’s not like the squeaking of truck suspension interrupts you while watching Pixar films with the kids. They just…