It’s amazing to me that we used to make these fans with metal blades with like a single strand of barbed wire surrounding it, as if that would protect the fingers of a small child. It’s almost as if someone got stoned up at the GE design lab and said, “You know, when I put my face over our blenders’ blades, there’s this nice air current.”

And some executive responded, “We could double our demand!” Two weeks later they had oscilating blender blades in half the houses in America that cooled us all down a couple of degrees. It’s unclear whether we cooled off because of airflow or blood loss, but the end goal was achieved so no one asked many questions. After all, when I see anything with the word “blade” in it, I immediately think, “that’ll definitely make me way more comfortable.”