There’s a huge difference in tone and character when it comes to being right verses proving you’re right. We talk often in our house about argument loops (both among ourselves, with others, and in observing many, many other relationships) about who is right, who is wrong, and who miscommunicated. Those loops for the emotionally stable and healthy can tend to navigate themselves, but sometimes it’s insufficient when you come across someone particularly stubborn in (1) confidently asserting something from out of their ignorance, which is exceedingly common with managerial and manipulative types or (2) intentionally misunderstanding your position in order to belittle or talk down to you or (3) nitpicking over the tiniest detail or formulation of what you’re saying, going to war over the letter and not the spirit of your message.

In any of those three situations, Tara and I have generally decided that being right is better than proving you’re right. I’ve seldom written about this because specific examples from one-on-one interactions in my own life would sort of “out” other people who live less public-facing lives than I do and would do so in a denigrating way.

But I’ve found a perfect illustration of the difference between being right and proving you’re right from MYTHBUSTERS. Here it is: