Many writers today present Haiku as free verse, covering a myriad of subjects. Many readers, myself included, enjoy these verses. However, I feel there is greater gentleness and artistic challenge in traditional Haiku. 

Traditional Haiku, which originated in Japan, is recognized as unrhymed verse of seventeen syllables. Steeped in Japanese culture and traditional nuances, Haiku can be formidable for western writers, yet many enjoy this challenge and delight in a finished poem.

Traditional Haiku verse, written in English, is composed of three lines, having five, seven, and five syllables, respectively. The poem often alludes to a season of the year. Although the verse is unrhymed, each line should be a complete thought, with the final line presenting what is often called the “Ah” moment of enlightenment; creating a juxtaposition of perception for the reader.

For me, Haiku may be thought of as a walk in a Japanese tea garden. The tranquil path goes forth then suddenly turns and one sees perhaps a waterfall, or a pagoda, maybe a statue, or a pond; something that is juxtaposed against the tranquility of a gentle walk. That sudden turn is representative of that traditional last line of the haiku, where the “Ah” statement challenges the perception built by the first two lines.

While traditional Haiku and Senryu (the addition of a human element) are not titled, western writers usually do title their poems. However, writers should not structure the title to be part of the poem. Also, they should certainly avoid disclosing their “Ah” statement in the title.  

At five, seven, and the concluding five syllables, composition of Haiku and Senryu – adding a human element to the poem – is indeed hard work, but shouldn’t writers take on a challenge once in a while?

Years ago, my Haiku “Wings” was published in Potpourri Magazine. I had structured the poem to meet the classical form of Haiku which, I hoped, ensured selection by the judging panel that, according to the guidelines, included a Japanese author of traditional Haiku. I suggest that one should always read the submission guidelines, carefully, as a guide for success!

Wings    James Fox

Wings beat forgiveness
White cranes grow one thousand strong
Paper creased – folded

“Wings beat forgiveness.” In many eastern cultures it is the crane, rather than the dove, that is the bird of peace. With that imagery to begin the poem, one can envision the writer perhaps viewing a bird of peace, just beyond the window.

“White cranes grow one thousand strong.” In the spring, cranes congregate at their nesting grounds, filling the sky as they wheel about with their majestic wings spread. This line added the seasonal element which is usually found in traditional Haiku.

“Paper creased – folded.”  This is the “Ah” statement; juxtaposition of the poem against the reader’s perception. This is also a conversion into Senryu. While the reader may still envision the writer watching cranes beyond the window, the reader now realizes the writer is folding origami cranes. Is it a child, wishing for health and happiness? Or, perhaps a broken-hearted lover hoping to mend a relationship? 

In a virtual nod to the Japanese judge, I relied upon a Japanese legend that folding one thousand paper cranes may grant a wish. First, I led the judging panel down the path to the nesting grounds of early spring. Then, in the last line, I take them back to their desks, to ponder this juxtaposition.

This poem later introduced “The Written Word” exhibits at the Sandhill Crane Festival in Lodi, California. For this author, that was more gratifying than the original publication. Plus, as the author, I got to mingle among other artists at the wine and cheese soiree and by gosh, I actually folded a few origami cranes at a hands-on exhibit table!

Another of my Haiku submissions, recently published by Haiku Journal, was again written in traditional Haiku style. Do you hear classical elements? Is there a seasonal element? Did you note that this could also be accepted as Senryu?

    Secret Path      James Fox

Secret woodland path
Golden doe and spotted fawn
Hush – Footfalls pass by

Now, perhaps you can envision a pebble strewn brook in the city park, or a lonely raven cawing on the Alaskan tundra. So, why not accept this writing challenge? Enjoy the adventures found in composing Haiku! 

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Photo by Tianshu Liu on Unsplash