Words have never satiated me
 so I tear the pages out of the thesaurus
 I let the synonyms synergize my sins
 and the antonyms antagonize my anomalies
 And at night I crawl under the covers
 and the words crawl under my corium
 they settle in the crevices of my flesh
 and inhabit my integument
 the words lying under my face
 bring out the under lying fears I can’t face
 the bile rises in my throat
 and foggy memories rise in my mind
 As a toddler I’d hold my father’s hand
 when I was scared of
 the monster hiding under my bed
                                   As a child I’d hold myself
                                   when I was hiding under the bed
                                   scared of my father’s hand
 I rack the medicine cabinet
 and search the racks for
 allergy pills to free up my chest

                                   and for sleeping pills
                                   to free up my mind
 and so then I do not eat because
       my friends do not eat because
              pretty girls do not eat because
                          to be skinny is to be pretty
                                   your stomach should be full of air
                                   but my stomach is full of words
 into my system they have found a way
 and as much as I try
                    i cannot digest what you say.