I know a guy who babysits one of his coworker’s infants every lunch hour. This guy with his Boston Market microwave lunch and a baby not his own in his arm. I told him he should get a baby meter. Like a parking meter, only for a baby. And you have to insert coins to park the baby in his arms. And as long as it says “time remaining” you’re good.

And of course you’d get way more money every time a parent would have this visceral reaction after discovering their baby had expired.