Author: Gilmore Tamny
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BABY’S GOT SNACK
So many snacks nowadays are just seeming like…some sort of dare, aren’t they? Almonds, like Internet dating, are something I keep intending to bring more into my life. They meet you halfway, almonds do. They hold up their end of the bargain of being actual food and tasting as good as the humans that manhandle…
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A Snack Review in Prosody: SKIPPY DOUBLE PEANUT BUTTER P.B. BITES
Gather round, yea, gather round my friends,It’s time to talk about Skippy Bites (balls),Before they vanish over that snack trend horizon,And they do merit study, discussion, et al. They await on the shelf for your notice,Nestled in their blue plastic cup coffers,O’ convenience this, o’ convenience that,Question remains: are they worth four dollars? Would an…
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WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?: Vea’s Thai Coconut Mini Crunch Bars
a) How many people had to sign off on these to bring Vea’s Thai Coconut Mini Crunch Bar into existence? b) How much money could they possibly make to have them worth producing when they aren’t an obvious choice of the busy parent/weed-related snacking/slumber party junk-food-saturnalia markets? c) What time of day snack niche do…
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TAKES A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR TO MAKE THE REALITY OF DEATH GO DOWN: Butterfinger Smooth and Crunchy Peanut Butter Cups Skulls
Spooks, ghosts, skeletons, you know the whole Halloween kit and caboodle—frankly, I’ve always been a fan. Butterfinger Smooth And Crunchy Peanut Butter Cups Skulls utilizes one of solidest tropes: the skull. Two surprisingly hefty ones of ‘em per package. While the Capuchin catacombs of Rome (human hip bones splayed out like cocktail napkins on the…
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Oh, JACK: DORITOS JACKED 3D Jalapeño Pepper Jack Flavored Torilla Snacks
Are we living through a golden age or an arms race of snack production? Never before has snacks been so wildly imagined and (fetishishically?) realized for such large swathes of the population. I can say this with all the confidence of someone who has done absolutely no research whatsoever to back their assertion. Still, I…