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shoes on a wire to illustrate the best pranks you've experienced or heard of
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Lancelot Schaubert

What are the best pranks you’ve heard of or experienced?

Have had a lot of folks since the publication of Bell Hammers reckon with the escalation of pranks in their own life — how a jest can turn into injustice. Sometimes it really is harmless fun, though. Either way: what are the best pranks you’ve heard of or experienced?

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Lancelot Schaubert

Lancelot Schaubert authored Bell Hammers, which Publisher’s Weekly called “a hoot.” He edits anthologies and journals; produces albums, films, and photo novels; raises funds, friends, and minds for artists. Learn more here.

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  1. Jim Fox

    Doc’s Scuttlebutt Cap – by James Fox

    In the halcyon days of my youth, I was in the Sea Explorers – BSA, often called Sea Scouts, (so, yes, we had sea scouts in the caveman days!)

    Back in the mid-1960’s the Commander of a 65-foot former aircraft rescue boat, the SES Tuolumne, out of Modesto, California, was Doc Van-Valen, a local Podiatrist. Our ship’s emblem, (and I don’t know how BSA ever approved this,) was a Skull and Crossbones, shaded in a yin-yang black over white. And to the delight of every adolescent boy who joined the crew, the second in command, Captain Daryl, our skipper for events, had a wooden leg… actually, a prosthetic leg, but close enough for our imaginations. One spring, for an up-coming Scout-o-Rama, Doc allowed the Skipper to add an unexpected prank for our demonstration of the Scuttlebutt Hoist.

    One of the events usually held at Sea Scout Regattas (a competitive gathering where Sea Scouts demonstrate their nautical skills) is the Scuttlebutt Hoist competition. An old term for a large, sealed cask is “butt.” A “scuttled butt” or “Scuttlebutt” is a cask with a hole drilled into it and a spigot installed, such as for the water cask on board a ship. As a filled scuttlebutt is quite heavy, often the ship’s crew and a crew on the dock would work together to hoist one safely aboard. News and gossip would be shared among the two crews as they worked, leading to the nautical term “scuttlebutt” meaning rumor and gossip.

    The Scuttlebutt Hoist is a timed event at Sea Explorer Regattas. Three spars are laid out alongside a large barrel filled almost to the brim with water. Rope for lashing and creating a barrel sling, as well as a disassembled block and tackle (rope and pulleys) are also laid out. The crew is lined up in formation. At the start signal the crew scrambles forward and lashes the spars into a tripod, creates a barrel hitch sling, slightly tilts the barrel to slide the sling beneath, and assembles the block and tackle, affixing it to the tripod, with a hook suspended to hold the sling. Then the crew “hauls away” on the rope to lift the barrel three feet off the ground. A measuring stick is usually used to verify the height. Then the crew lowers the barrel, trying not to spill any water, tilts the tripod over to the ground, removes the lashings, disassembles the block and tackle and rushes back into formation, then “Time” is called. Many crews can complete this task in two minutes or less; seemingly with sheer, controlled, silent chaos!

    At a Scout-o-Rama the event is usually not timed but is run hourly to showcase the Sea-scouts’ skills. The prank that Doc Van-Valen allowed us to add, as a crowd-pleaser for this event, was to have the hoist crew, just before starting the event, tip the barrel just enough to slide a beaten up, rust-stained Captain’s Cap underneath. The cap was attached to a 15-foot-long lanyard.

    When ready to run the Scuttlebutt Hoist, the Bosun’s Mate would explain the hoist procedure to the audience, and then ask for a “time-check volunteer” from the crowd. That hapless soul would be asked to hold the end of the lanyard, its 5-foot length ensuring that they were positioned safely out of the way of the action. The volunteer was told that once the barrel was hoisted and height verified, they needed to reel in the cap really fast. Then as soon as the barrel was lowered, the tripod tilted and laid on the ground, the gear disassembled, and the crew lined back up at attention, the volunteer was to wave the cap in the air and call out “Time.”

    Once the event started, the eager volunteered would watch eagle-eyed, his hands gripping the lanyard end, reeling it in as instructed, ready to wave the cap and shout out “Time!” But, as soon as the volunteer did that, the skipper (hat-less) would rush up and growl, “YOU don’t call time, I call time!” Then his eyes would widen, and he’d grab the crushed, soiled cap and wail, “My Cap! MY CAP! … What happened to my cap?”

    Then he’d snarl at the crew “All right! Who did this to my cap?” The crew would all look up and down the line, then one by one, we’d turn and point at the volunteer!

    As the immediate shock wore off and the volunteer realized it was a joke, they received an “Ask me about Scuttlebutt” button. Then, they usually rushed off to find a friend to “set up” as the next hour’s “volunteer!” (Aren’t we an odd species?)

    I would recommend that you don’t miss the chance to see the Scuttlebutt Competition at a Regatta or Scout-O-Rama. With or without Doc’s Skuttlebutt Cap prank, it is an exciting event, as well as a look back into the days of sail and the tall ships.

    foxtale (Jim Fox)

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