Filed under Entertainment

Paradise Lost: Book One

Reading a Harvard Classic, journaling for an MIT open course, watching a Yale lecture. Buckle up, this is about to be the most literated fantastic point of ignorance yet. We’ll have a coffee shop version, an appetizer version and a full course meal for this puppy. Respond and dialog as soon as you want to jump in, regardless of how much you read on this post or in the book.

Coffee: What You Care About

Fireworks. Magic. Cosmic battle. Midgets and Giants. Demons and Angels. Ancient mythology. Modern poetry. All this and more greets us at the front door of Milton’s Paradise Lost. For those of you who enjoy modern poetry, you’ll find some of it old-fashioned. For those who enjoy old-fashioned poetry, you’ll find Milton hates rhymey-dimey verse. Any of you fantasy nerds, if you can get past the iambic-ness of the telling, will love this. And, of course, so will those of you who try to follow Jesus or at least appreciate the O.T.

[jump in]

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The Last of the Tellers — One: The Invocation

for Doberman
and, as always, for Kiddo


I

“We must buy the water we drink;
our wood can be had only at a price…

We get our bread at the risk of our lives
because of the sword in the desert…

Our skin is hot as an oven,
feverish from hunger…

Young men toil at the millstones;
boys stagger under loads of wood.
The elders are gone from the city gate;
the young men have stopped their music.”

                                    – Jeremiah, 6th Century B.C.

One: The Invocation

Fill up my lungs this one last time to tell
of what we lost, of what weak life we choose
when we invest in ads despite my tale— Continue reading

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Fletching the Sandman’s Arrows

“What’s your name?”

“Fletch.”

“What’s your full name?”

“Fletcher.”

“What’s your first name?”

“Irwin.”

“What?”

“Irwin Fletcher. People call me Fletch.”

“Irwin Fletcher, I have a proposition to make to you. I will give you a thousand dollars for just listening to it. If you decide to reject the proposition, you take the thousand dollars, go away, and never tell anyone we talked.”

“Is it criminal?”

“Of course.”

“Fair enough. For a thousand dollars I can listen. What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to murder me.”

Fletch said, “Sure.”

That’s how Gregory McDonald kicked off the pitch-perfect dialog in his novel Fletch back in 1974. Fletch is a jerk, an absolute pain to everyone he meets because he only cares about the story. He’s not a detective, he’s an investigative journalist and he’ll sacrifice anything–two marriages, relationships with employees, even a rich man’s life–for the sake of his column.  Continue reading

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“Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity.”

Recent Work Miscellany

The following articles by yours truly will come out next month, this month or next year at this time:
  • “To Prevail or ‘How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Flak’” in Hollywood and Vine (article, May/June 2012)
  • “Poker in the Pokey” in Poker Pro (article, June 2012)*
  • “Stamping the Name” in Encounter (article, May 2012)
  • “Choices Make the Man” in Encounter (article, Spring, 2013)
  • “The List” in Encounter (article, Spring 2013)
  • “Remember My Death” in Encounter (article, Spring 2013)
  • for older stuff, see published works and projects under the Writer tab
*This was cowritten with another writer under the pseudonym Thom Schriver

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Midnight in Paris by Woody Allen

Yesterday was a weird day for me. Really weird. Emotional and weird–not like yesterday’s post or anything, just yesterday . Since I feel like writing, but don’t want to mess with any stories or editing or whatever on Saturday, let’s chat about the best film I saw recently. It’s like a digital bowl of comfort ice cream, only with less calories and more Woody Allen.

Midnight in Paris follows a family who travels to the capital of France for business. One’s a screenwriter who wants to turn novelist. The other’s a brat-princess-daughter of some jerk Tea Party capitalist tycoon. Screenwriter and brat are engaged. Brat wants to do lame tourist things. Screenwriter wants to get in touch with his inner self and the city, as if to accommodate him, changes at Midnight into Paris of another era.

To get it out of the way, I liked the film. Maybe even loved it, I don’t know. I’ll have to see it a second time for that. Some of the imagery struck me, the poetry of filmmakers. At the opening scene, we alternate between shots of the oldest portions of the city and the newest, the ancient street lamps and the Eiffel Tower along switch places with new trees and buildings. Continue reading

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What’ll You Think of Next?

Hey gang,

Think of this like a love letter from me to you, only less romantic. I save the romance for Kiddo (ask her about the hope chest some time).

Every once in awhile, Continue reading

M.I.T. 4 Free

No, that’s not a typo. Thanks to Logan K. Stewart’s suggestion, I’m now going to take on M.I.T. at the same time as my Harvard Classics readings. Basically, there’s a list of classes:

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On Being a Public Figure Before Peforming

This post is one of my unicorns.

What I mean is I have inched toward this post without warning of its approach for years. In Southern Illinois, as is the case in other parts of the world where they don’t junk cars but “let ‘em rust down,” high school morons hill hop. Hill hopping fits onto the roster of hick track and field, those games that need “don’t try this at home” stickers. Young sixteen-year old men (and women on the coasts) rev up their car engines and catapult over hilltops on country roads, daring other cars to meet them head-on. Thing is, not all other cars are chicken–some just play chicken. Another dozen teens will die this year meeting unseen cars while hopping hills.

Somewhere between hill hopping and unicorns lies this post. No one can catch a unicorn. Unicorns find you. No one expects to die hopping a hill in a Pontiac, but it happens. I’m blindsided by this post because for the last seven years, in the midst of all of my other writing, I have worked on my world of Gergia. No other novel existed–only Gergian books and notes and maps. If Rowling and Rothfuss can work on one series, win a writer’s contest and instantly publish a best seller, anyone can, right? That’s what I thought anyway, and so I pushed off all other projects — twenty novel ideas, dozens of short story ideas, screenplays, journalistic things — for THE SERIES.

The last few weeks, my writing slowed and stalled. I… Was… Crawling… Through… Sentences. It was block in the proper sense of the word–my discipline was trying to force words like water through a clogged toilet. I stalled at the 52,000th word. I would rework scenes, attack the story from another angle and stop at the same place. Another angle, more resistance. It was like trying to chop down a cherry tree with a brand new axe WHILE circling the tree like a foe from some spaghetti western. Only the tree was no bringer of cherries. It was this colossal inbred monster of its cedar mother and redwood father. My axe also turned out to be a cheap camp hatchet.

Something happened this weekend that changed all of that. This week I was armed with an axe and a maul…

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Storyssentials: Sentence

Brevity and depth–that’s what you can expect from this post if you reflect.

It would seem trivial to call “sentences” essential bits of story. Part of this comes from people who assume that writers toil for words. Photographers use photoshop, but they toil for photos. Graphic designers use illustrator, but they toil for graphics. Writers use words, but they toil for stories. The medium of a writer is story-essence, not words. Because of this, I ask one thing today: what do stories teach us about sentences and what can sentences teach us about stories?

Three key parts of a sentence follow:

  1. Subject
  2. Verb
  3. Ending

That sounds stupid, but hang with me. We’re building off of what we assume. By “ending” I don’t mean “object.” I mean what word ends your statement? Sentences are microcosms of story. Your understanding of how they work reflects your story-consciousness. The most important part of the story is the subject, or the protagonist. The second most important part of the story is the verbage, the escalation of conflict, what the subject chooses to do. The third is the climax and resolution. What goal is the protagonist working toward? Do they succeed? Continue reading

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Breakfast of Champions, The Muad’dib & Hospital Visits

Thursday last I ventured with an older gentleman to some local hospitals. We called on the elderly and infirm in hopes to raise their spirits. This guy’s a pro—he’s been doing this for years, visiting sick people in the hospital, praying for any who request it, listening to them ramble about stories of the old country or of one of the many wars, always with a broader smile than I can invoke on my face, the kind of smile that gets both eyes, your nose and your teeth involved. That smile cheers them up more than anything, people who have nobody or few somebodies to come and visit them when they fall or get an infection or go through surgery or when their mind starts to wonder why it keeps wandering. Hold that thought… Continue reading

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A Comic Weekend

When I woke up early on Saturday to a barking spaniel, it took me a moment to realize what day it was. Since Mark was on a shoot and Ryan moved to Nome Alaska to watch huskies race across the arctic tundra, that left me and Nate to brave the waters of f…Fr…FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!

Now hold up, hold up.

Before you all write comparison and contrast essays about this post and the last one, let me say that I’ll drop this post and throw down right here with anyone who says graphic novels are not literature. One, you’re talking to the guy who’s reading through the Harvard Classics. (Side note: Yes, I’m still on Paradise Lost. No, I haven’t given up). I’m no lit-genius, but I think my literary opinion weighs in more than, say, the gal who offered the tip of her light saber to her infant for suckling purposes or the dude who came to FCBD sporting legit-replica stormtrooper armor. (Not that I’m against dressing up like a stormtrooper. In fact, if you choose to dress up for something like Free Comic Book Day or a midnight showing, what better choice than a stormtrooper, a bugger, a death eater, Spiderman, Bluebird or anything else that covers your face?) As a self-proclaimed lit boy, I say graphic novels count as legit-lit for similar reasons that screenplays count. Two, take your pick of brilliant books. Continue reading

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An Open Letter to Adolescents (or Adolescence)

To any adolescent it may concern:

When you grow up, your old friends will do different things.

One will go to prison. Another will get married and have twelve babies. A third will join a group of anarchists in Seattle only to quit the group later. Another will become a career politician who accepts bribes from banks that will beg him or her to kick people like your anarchist friend out of groups like the one in Seattle. This bribery is, in the end, pointless seeing as how your anarchist friend already quit. Your corrupt politician friend doesn’t care. He has money. Money becomes disproportionately important when you grow up.

By “disproportionate” I mean that an average penny occupies .03 cubic millimeters of space in the universe whereas an average newborn baby occupies 336 cubic inches of space in the universe. Also, the baby can think. Regardless of how much more space, time and imagination his or her baby takes, regardless of how his or her baby will tell jokes and make more babies when it grows up, regardless of how it is metaphysically impossible to make more pennies by rubbing his or her pennies together, your friend who grows up to become a corrupt politician will still care more about his or her pennies than his or her babies.

As said prior, your anarchist friend will quit. Continue reading

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Gunslinger and Good News

The man in black fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed.

With that, King opens his seven-part Dark Tower series–an undertaking he originally hoped would create “the largest work of popular fiction in history.” I’m unsure as to what I expected with this one, but I received something else. Perhaps I looked for Tolkien or Lewis or McCaffrey or Herbert or Rothfuss or Martin or something.

I should have known better…

You regulars know my fascination with King’s nonfiction articles, criticism, On Writing and now Danse Macabre. Halfway through Danse Macabre, I realized that I had yet to read any of King’s fiction. Even though I consider screenplays to qualify as “literature” (Maximum Overdrive, 1408, The Shining, Firestarter, The Green Mile, Shawshank, etc) – Shame. On. Me.

The bleak environment of this first world did what he set out to do–it demonstrated the sheer size of the universe. In scope alone, this series already feels epic and the mere concept of gunslingers, of an order of fighters who work their way up to earning guns, fits Americana. We are not a people of samurai, ninjas or knights. We’re a nation of cowboys, indians and pirates. Gunslingers fit our soul. Continue reading

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Tomorrow, I Work for Free

Well I scribed postscripts on every post between the ninth and now to remind all of you people in need of writing, editing and story that I work for zero dollars tomorrow, May first. Since this is a rare thing, since so few people truly grasp the gravity and abstraction inherent in this sweeter-than-sweet concept of “zero dollars,” a concept other people in America refer to as “free,” I decided to draw an educational picture of zero dollars.

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