living without social media

Living without Social Media — 21 Letters Written

living without social media

Well we’re two months into our year of living without social media and I can confidently say I don’t miss it, even with googling the news more than normal (which I’m also trying to curb as I used to abstain from reading the news, but as the desert fathers said, sometimes you have to use one vice to chase out another).

Here’s a timelapse of me writing, sealing, and sending the first twenty-one letters:

…which puts me on pace for 300 letters by the end of the year. (If you want one, sign up here). The people who have received them have already responded beautifully.

So far, living without social media has given us much more time to enjoy meals with friends who also don’t — or can’t — have social media.

living without social media

…which also included me trying my first bowl of pro ramen:

living without social media

…and forcing myself to come face-to-face with local news when I had to rush home to do the emergency eulogy for Deno Bubba’s funeral:

living without social media

…dipping my feet into the wide world of podcasts, which will likely only expand in the future. Tara snagged this picture of me talking to the recorder. As if all of you could see my hands waving:

living without social media

…and opening up more time for eyes-open reflection during travel.

living without social media

…oh and more time for walks with the girls.

living without social media

All in all, our quality of life has significantly improved. I cannot imagine being on Facebook on November 8th, let alone on Twitter in any of the insanity that has followed, so I consider it a grace that we dodged a bullet there.

Also accomplished:

  • 30,000 words on my new novel.
  • Significant phonecalls and meetings for business.
  • Released article compilation.
  • Sold story to New Haven Review and other pieces to other places
  • Started new partnerships.
  • DATE NIGHT RETURNS TO THE SCHAUBERT HOUSEHOLD
  • ONE BLOG POST A DAY IN DECEMBER
  • set my thumb on fire. nothing so sobering as pain. accident, but still. actually someone else did it. but it could have been infinitely worse than a two-degree burn had I had my phone in my hand.

Other assorted victories to follow, but man I feel like I’ve got my life back in a way I haven’t since 2005. That sounds weird: I’ve been able to accomplish and experience and love a lot. But there’s something sacred to reticence we miss when we share every little thing. I think my Deno Bubba understood that. Hope to represent some of that with the new novel.

Love to all of you. How is it out there?

 

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  1. Writer Unboxed OnConference — review •

    […] Speaking of Letters to a Young Poet, I need to get back to letter writing… […]

Quick note from Lance about this post: when you choose to comment (or share this post with your friends) you help other readers just like you.

How?

Well, see, your comments & sharing whisper a few things to those who come after you:

The first is that this site is a safe place to speak up & stay curious. That it's civil. That discussion is encouraged. That there's no such thing as a stupid question (being a student of Socrates, I really and truly believe this). That talking to one another and growing together is more important than anything we could possibly publish. That the point is growing in virtue and growing together and growing wise. That discovery is invention, deference is originality, that we all can rise together. The only folks I'm going to take comments down from are obvious jerks who argue in bad faith, don't stay curious, or actively make personal attacks. And, frankly, I'd rather we talk here than on some social media farm — I will never show ads and the only thing I'm selling anywhere on the site or my mailing list is just the stuff I make.

You're also helping folks realize that anything you & they build together is far more important than anything you come to me to read. I take the things I write about seriously, but I don't take myself seriously: I play the fool, I hate cults of personality, and I also don't really like being the center of attention (believe it or not). I would much rather folks connect because of an introduction I've made or because they commented with one another back and forth and then build something beautiful together. My favorite contributions have been lifelong business and love partnerships from two people who have forgotten I introduced them. Some of my closest friends NOW I literally met on another blog's comment section fifteen years ago. I would love for that to happen here — let two of you meet and let me fade into the background.

Last, you help me revise. I'm wrong. Often. I'm not embarrassed to admit it or worried about being cancelled or publicly shamed. I make a fool out of myself (that's sort of the point). So as I get feedback, I can say, "I was wrong about that" and set a model for curious, consistent learning, and growing in wisdom. I'm blind to what I don't know and as grows the island of my knowledge so grows the shoreline of my ignorance. It's the recovery of innocence on the far end of experience: a child is in a permanent state of wonder. So are the wise: they aren't afraid of saying, "I don't know. That's new: please teach me." That's my goal, comments help. And I read all reviews: my skin's tough, but that's not license to be needlessly cruel. We teach one another our habits and there's a way to civilly demolish an idea without demolishing another person: just because I personally can take the world's meanest 1-star review doesn't mean we should teach one another how to be crueler on the internet.

For three magical reasons — your brave curiosity, your community, & my ignorance:

Please comment & share with friends how you prefer to share:

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