Lance Schaubert

Well I took a MASSIVE series of breaks over the holidays, though it may have looked like the exact opposite here  (hooray for automation!) In any case, here’s a pictorial representation of the last two months…

Every vacation seems to start with my spaniel pulling a nonviolent protest on top of my reference books:

No, this picture wasn’t staged. She does this a lot. The question you should be asking: Lance, do you really leave that many books out all over your house?

To which my wonderful bride would say, “Exactly. Exxxactly. Thank you.”

In any case, for those caught unawares, my spaniel’s name is Echo… which I suppose makes me Narcissus. She’s also conveniently bred for the “flush” category of hunting dogs thus her nonviolent way of flushing me out of my workhole. Thoreau would be proud…

We traveled over Thanksgiving to a friends house where we had prosciutto, caviar, brie & other cheeses I’m unfamiliar with like gouda and stuff. As indicated by “and stuff,” this was the first time I tried any of these delicacies and I ended by loving them all.

It didn’t start that way, especially the caviar…

Aaanyways, we played Small World thrice:

And Chicago Express twice:

Which is an INCREDIBLE game and renewed my faith in games based on Capitalism… though not in Capitalism itself. I’ll still never play Monopoly again, but I’ll play this one until I die.

I grinded out some proposals and articles while my friend finished his last shift in Cape Girardeau when this totally random parade passes by, complete with the creepiest Cookie Monster I’ve ever seen. Parades, as you know, make for really bizarre and blurry pictures such as the following:

I spy:

• A rocking horse
• 4 tires
• 2 santa hats
• 2 stockings
• 6 blurry strands of lights
• a wrapping paper blanket
• a homeless guy on a flatbed
• a stack of cinder blocks that’s supposed to look like a chimney
• 4 hitchhikers
• Miss Haversham without her wedding dress

A point for every right guess in the comments.

Anyways, we got back from all of that fun and found Echo like this:

Which was a common theme for her, being exhausted from her sit-in.

Sometimes during naps, Echo does this:

Which we’ve narrowed down to:

1. A dream about chasing squirrels on wax paper
2. A dream about being the karate dog
3. Her pretending to be asleep so she can justify practicing the sprinkler

5 Literator points for extra suggestions in the comments. 

Soon after that, our friends came back from the Middle East to have their beautiful baby:

That’s Kiddo holding him.

And then we went to Tampa, Florida where Kiddo wrapped our presents in love… and style:

(My brother-in-law didn’t know it yet, but that stack in the bottom right was soon to be his personal copy of  the hardbackHarry Potter. Also, Two Hundred Literator points for every right guess of what else was in those packages–HINT: One was already mentioned).

I was surprised by a new book that wasn’t on my list. It’s called The Crowd, The Critic and The Muse (on Amazon) and I’d recommend picking it up, especially artists, double-especially for Christians, triple-especially for… well you can do the math.

Our brother and sister were kind enough to give us a FANTASTIC German card game named Bohnanza:

While our other brother gave my diabetic wife a 1000-piece CANDY… puzzle:

Which we dominated.

Enough that I added my foot to the victory fistbump:

I’m reminded of the famous Ninja Turtle line: “Leo, high foot!”

In any case, we went to the beach where my mother in law filmed crazy tourists who fed the birds:

Congrats, chubby white guy to the right, you and your cropped hair are famous now. Same goes to you, creepily unclad group of large middle-aged tourists out in the ocean.

I was reading:

And the reason I scrunched my face is because I was reading All the Pretty Horses… and John Grady had just shanked a guy in a Mexican prison. Heavy stuff.

You know… beach reading.

Went to this Cuban restaurant–the ritzy kind that you need to go to several times to get a full experience of their menu. They had flamenco dancers and one of the older bottles of wine I’ve seen…

Then we got this bread for New Years. Greek Bread. Gread. Gread with a coin in the middle. Please don’t ask me why there’s a coin in the middle of the Gread or else I’ll be forced to make up some fanciful story in the comments involving the Grecian cousins of leprechauns.

Lots of people came over to our house.

Joplin got back into the rhythm of ice storms, though this one was mild compared to the two winters we had prior to the EF5 NADER:

My family came over and just left this morning. We ended up playing even MORE games. I watched Inside the Actor’s Studio: Robin Williams and got a taste of my old self again.

I feel refreshed and much less anxious, ready to take on more style editing and story coaching and article writing, though not completely myself quite yet.

I’m getting there, but what helped more than anything was the moment my wife brought home Hobbit wear:

That might be my new About page image. I suppose I’ll get back to the old, easy-going Bilbo rhythm sooner or later. [Most of the pics by Kiddo... unless she's in them, of course].

Hugs, Kisses, and an unnecessarily massive monogram,