Self-Abuse Series featuring Brian DeMint

There comes a time in every young writer’s life when he must stop talking about half-bit philosophy, inspirational posters and greeting cards. In the words of Frank Norris (via Stephen King), “What should I care if they single me out for sneers and laughter? I never truckled, I never lied. I told the truth.” I’m about to tell you the truth and it won’t be pretty, but it will be good when all’s said and done.

A few weeks after Brian DeMint finished his interview for Ask the Experts, he contacted me. “Lance, what would you think about partnering with me for a new Self-Abuse series? This time I’d like to have a writer add some stories and stuff to go with the images. They tend to help people out… what do you think?”

I agreed and started writing copy for Brian’s photos. Before long, girls broke up with abusive boyfriends, people called hotlines, stories flooded Brian’s email account. The response encourages us to continue, even though the process is rough. But it’s a good rough, you know? No one should suffer alone. For those of you who with stories of hurt left unspoken, we lend you our voices. These images aren’t pretty—but that’s kind of the point. We hope to wake a sleeping world, that they might pay attention to the damage being done to next-door-neighbors or family members or their own souls and ask then do something about it.

I’ve given this snippet on my home page, but I recommend to everyone to suck it up, take a breath and continue reading…

In Brian’s words:

The series that will follow over the next few months is a project by myself, writer Lance Schaubert and many models to bring more awareness and offer help and support to those who suffer through abuse in all forms.

Our most sincere prayers and thoughts for those who have, or will, suffer and our most heartfelt sorrow for those who are not here to tell their stories.

I’ll share them in the order Brian released them.

Physical Abuse:

“ …we had a dog and he had tinkled in the laundry room and I had missed it… all I really remember is getting thrown to the floor, kicked… pulled by my hair to the laundry room and my face shoved into the pee …and then my face was being dragged down the log wall I felt the wood splinters going in and then I was spitting up blood from being choked… ”
Most beatings don’t happen in the alley, they happen in the home.
  • Domestic violence hurts one in four women at some point
  • Around 3.3 million women and 3 million men are victims this year
  • Pick four random people: three of them know a victim
Accidents, muggings and rapes combined injure fewer women than beatings done by family members. In fact, while you were reading this, three women were beaten or assaulted. Children witness cruelty early, children you probably know.
Find help for you or your neighbor:
or talk to a healthy mentor.

Meth Abuse:

“I had a boyfriend when I was 18… We both had drug problems. I ended up living in his car for a couple weeks, prostituting myself…. then came motel living, cockroach filled rooms, if I had ANY money he would steal it, if I upset him he would slap me, push me, grab me & leave bruises, threaten to light me on fire… “
“My aunt constantly picked at her skin because she was convinced there was glass embedded in it.”
“My sister was such a pretty girl, now she just looks like a skeleton. She steals from my family every day.”
Crystal Meth can burst brain vessels and, over time, bloat the lining around your heart. It can lead to Paranoia (sometimes extreme, leading to thoughts of homicide or suicide), Hallucinations or delusions (e.g., sensation of insects crawling on the skin)
  • 12 million Americans have tried Meth
  • People cook meth in every state
  • 5,132 meth labs were seized before June of this year. That’s 34 labs found every day
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Though all ages use meth, most users are younger than twenty-three. This month, eight people will die of a meth-induced stroke. Addiction starts early and, if conditions were reversed, it could’ve been you.

Find help for you or your neighbor at:

or talk to a healthy mentor

Anorexia:

“My abuser used to spit on me, hold me down and hock loogies in my face, when his friends came over he would call me “fat,” “piggie,” “Fatty McFatso.” He used to tell me I was ugly and no one would ever love me because I was worthless and fat and ugly. I used to eat nothing but salad for lunch and dinner, I’d walk 3 times a day. I got down to 75 pounds at the age of 16 or 17 and I knew I had a problem. I felt like I looked good until I looked at the scale, then the mirror, realizing you could see nearly every bone in my body. I decided I didn’t want to look like that, it disgusted me.

Then I moved out and I was able to gain the 40+ pounds I lost, but not completely. I’ve been to therapy and have learned how to block the things my abuser says to me out of my head. It still gets to me sometimes, but it takes time.”

Anorexia can cause your heart to beat in life-threatening rhythms, your teeth to fall out, or your intestines to rupture.

  • 24 million people suffer from an eating disorder
  • Anorexia’s the most common illness among students
  • Eating disorders kill more people than any other mental illness

Anorexia affects people from all walks of life. Men refuse treatment, elite athletes hide their struggle, and women fuel the disease by comparing themselves to one another. Don’t waste away in hiding or competition. Choose to be whole once again.

Find help for you or your neighbor at:

or talk to a healthy mentor.

___

Thanks for hanging in there with us and reading through them. Many people, specifically young girls, are seeking help through this series. Please encourage victims of abuse in your life. They’re not alone. We care. We’re here to help.

More to come…

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