Bad Thinking: “Wait Until You Have Something to Say”

There’s a rotten thought running around lecture halls, councils and writing groups these days. That idea goes like this: “You’ve nothing to say when you’re young. Wait until you’ve lived a little, then you’ll have something to say.” People tell themselves this while staring into the mirror or preach this to others all the time.

I talked to a old man the other day who owns thousands of books. He reads over a hundred every year. I asked him, “When are you going to write?”

He said, “Everything’s already been said.”

I know this guy, and he says things in unique, charming, joyful ways. No, I think something else is at work. It’s not so much that everything’s been said, but that he feels he has nothing to say. This, a man who will retire in a few short years.

Call me crazy, but I’m the guy who thinks he can learn everything there is to know about anything from anyone if he only listens and reflects. A mother in one of the classes I teach asked for prayer recently that her daughter’s cleft palate would loosen. “She’s got all sorts of things to say, to communicate, she just can’t form the words yet.”

Often in books on writing or rhetoric, they don’t end with, “…and wait until you have something to say.” Rather they end with, “find your voice.” Stephen King sat on the Dark Tower from nineteen on. Martin Luther King Jr. knew his mission for years before he stood up at the Lincoln Memorial and said the same thing he’d been saying all that time: I have a dream. I could go on, but the point is these people discover themselves, but work at finding their voice.

A friend of mine was in prison and we were writing letters back and forth. He started talking about his inmates’s usage of profanity:

Never have I been grateful for my high school and college education until now. These guys get in here and throw five of the worst swear words and racial slurs in-between phrases not because they prefer it but because they have no way of expressing their angst and anger. Education, if nothing else, taught me how to express what I’m feeling so that I don’t have to rely on words like that.

I’ve heard of people talk about profanity as if it’s “the language of the poor.” In this context, I suppose it could be considered such. No, I don’t buy into the idea that I need to wait to say something or wait to write until I have something to say. I’m a living creature born into this world–by definition I have a perspective to offer everyone.

It’s my job to share my perspective and find my voice by using it.

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  1. neilcrabtree

    I totally agree Lance. Each persons belief system is unique – with governments being made up of consensus opinions which are fashioned along the lines of the culture’s traditions.

    You have to say what you have to say – but best it be considered such that statements are a constructive glorification of individual thought rather than an attempt to place oneself in front of the herd. The truth resonates in its directional focus on a positively evolving humanity.

    Todays communication problem is largely about media outlets for truth which are beyond the bias of coorporate and government interests – the ‘sit-ins’, the wikileaks, facebook, etc.
    But then it’s also worth remembering that the ‘average’ person remains coloured with the incentive of profit and glory – and why not – it has its time.

    Cheers, Neil

    1. lanceschaubert

      I agree with the first paragraph, am intrigued by the second (though probably disagree) and sympathize with the third. As for the fourth, I respectfully think the opposite–I find no value in profit nor glory for the self but rather for the community.

      However I would add that there’s a difference between “choosing your words carefully” or “even the fool who keeps his mouth shut is considered wise” and what I said in this post. Choosing your words carefully is another way of finding your voice, especially since wisdom proves her children right.

Quick note from Lance about this post: when you choose to comment (or share this post with your friends) you help other readers just like you.

How?

Well, see, your comments & sharing whisper a few things to those who come after you:

The first is that this site is a safe place to speak up & stay curious. That it's civil. That discussion is encouraged. That there's no such thing as a stupid question (being a student of Socrates, I really and truly believe this). That talking to one another and growing together is more important than anything we could possibly publish. That the point is growing in virtue and growing together and growing wise. That discovery is invention, deference is originality, that we all can rise together. The only folks I'm going to take comments down from are obvious jerks who argue in bad faith, don't stay curious, or actively make personal attacks. And, frankly, I'd rather we talk here than on some social media farm — I will never show ads and the only thing I'm selling anywhere on the site or my mailing list is just the stuff I make.

You're also helping folks realize that anything you & they build together is far more important than anything you come to me to read. I take the things I write about seriously, but I don't take myself seriously: I play the fool, I hate cults of personality, and I also don't really like being the center of attention (believe it or not). I would much rather folks connect because of an introduction I've made or because they commented with one another back and forth and then build something beautiful together. My favorite contributions have been lifelong business and love partnerships from two people who have forgotten I introduced them. Some of my closest friends NOW I literally met on another blog's comment section fifteen years ago. I would love for that to happen here — let two of you meet and let me fade into the background.

Last, you help me revise. I'm wrong. Often. I'm not embarrassed to admit it or worried about being cancelled or publicly shamed. I make a fool out of myself (that's sort of the point). So as I get feedback, I can say, "I was wrong about that" and set a model for curious, consistent learning, and growing in wisdom. I'm blind to what I don't know and as grows the island of my knowledge so grows the shoreline of my ignorance. It's the recovery of innocence on the far end of experience: a child is in a permanent state of wonder. So are the wise: they aren't afraid of saying, "I don't know. That's new: please teach me." That's my goal, comments help. And I read all reviews: my skin's tough, but that's not license to be needlessly cruel. We teach one another our habits and there's a way to civilly demolish an idea without demolishing another person: just because I personally can take the world's meanest 1-star review doesn't mean we should teach one another how to be crueler on the internet.

For three magical reasons — your brave curiosity, your community, & my ignorance:

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